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How much fun we had!

I have recently encouraged people to think back on old memories. Among other things, I got a photo from 1974 where a person had a lot of fun at a show, dressed up without a helmet and with rubber boots. It probably would not have been accepted today was the comment and yes, that’s what I want to write about today.I myself grew up in Denmark and I have heard many Swedes comment on the Danes as free and open. I can agree with the risk of being classified as frivolous and reckless, I want to say that I got a slight shock when I entered the horse world in Sweden in the 80’s.

When I bought my first SWB it was because of the color and size and I loved him. That he had a pedigree was just something that came with it, I thought. When I introduced my horse to others, the first question was: Who is he after? I had no idea! In Denmark, when you had a horse, you asked what you wanted the horse for and what it could do, I had never encountered that question before. In the end I got to learn who he was after and I was proud when I had finally learned father and grandfather, but I would soon notice that it was not enough, you should know the whole pedigree and should also know something about the stallions as well. I wondered what it had to do with the horse, he was wonderful as he was. I continued to have fun with my horse! I rode him in halter and halter shaft, I drove him in, taught him that I could play on hunting horns when I sat on his back and had him on High Chapparall so he could also learn to walk along the steam locomotive and hear shots without being afraid . We had fun!

I was eventually influenced by the attitude that I was not serious and started to be so and rode dressage and competed. I must admit that training and competition never became my big hit, with all the work, nervous horse, nervous me, performance anxiety and comparison with others who in my opinion were much better than me.I’m back as frivolous, riding my horse in a halter, riding a lap with him sometimes and having fun.I understand that you have to learn to ride and you also have to have safety considerations (I have always worn a helmet) but who says that the horse feels better from harrowing around on a track with a tight noseband, a lot of scrap in the mouth and do the same thing over and over again, than maybe getting bumbed in the back but getting to do other things?

I hope you can read between the lines and see that I do not mean so bad, but that sometimes you have to think a little about how much fun you really have with your horseI have worked with many people who have seen the downside of trying to be “serious” and then got a worse relationship with their horse. You want to do everything right, you must have the right saddle, you must train for a real trainer, the horse must have the latest new food, blankets, etc. and since there are as many opinions about how the horse should be cared for as there are people, it is impossible to know what is right. In the end it goes crazy, you are lost in, what is right and wrong, become hesitant with the horse and finally scared. Do not forget to have fun!

Memories!
The other day I asked in Facebook what the name of the first horse you rode was.
I got so many answers and it was fun to see the old names that were repeated on many horses. I guess it triggered another part of your brain?
When you have to remember, you have to dig a little and when a memory comes up, many memories will surely come along. You start to think back to all the fun hours you have had with your horses and also unpleasant memories that we prefer to forget.
The things you have done and experienced make you aware of how much you have actually done in your life and how much you have learned. It’s not wrong to dig a little into the memory and experience the fun things again, which reminds us of why we spend our time with horses.
When you grow up, a lot of musts comes with it!

You have to take responsibility and you have to make sure that everything is right, and when those musts have to take over, the pleasure also ends.

We begin to blame ourselves for not having done this and that and we begin to value time in: That is necessary and that is not necessary, in order to be able to keep up with everyday life. In the end, there is only room for musts and we do not understand what is happening to us.
When you are a child, time is just something you have and there are plenty of it. One longs most to grow up and be able to decide, without being aware that with the right to decide also comes a lot of musts.
I feel that when you have some time off, I get restless and think about what I forgot to do.

Lately, I have been devoting a lot of time to memories, and trying to figure out what I have learned in this long time and trying to figure out what I should use this insight for in a good way.
If you have old cards or movies, it can help to refresh your memories and it is not wrong to spend some time on it.

Trust! How long will it take?
Some people think that a simple piece of advice can make them solve the problems with their horse and therefore ask in different groups on FB if ​​anyone has tips on how to solve it.

I too have been asked: why does my horse do this and that?

Those who have worked with me know that it is not that simple. Sometimes you have to go back and sometimes you have to go very far and build everything from scratch. It sounds like it would take an awful long time to solve the problems, but the fact is, that it takes just as long to make quick solutions, plus when you have everything from scratch, it is difficult to fail again.

I usually compare it to building a house. The foundation must be very stable. You must use the right material, it must be straight, a certain thickness, etc. If you mix the wrong material, for example, the foundation will give way when you build the house on top of it.

Same with the horse. If you do not trust the horse and the horse does not trust you, it will break somewhere sooner or later.

So you might think… .yes but the horse loves me, it comes as soon as I show up and so on. Then why are you afraid to get on it / gallop or ride out? It is basically missing somewhere and it can be repaired with the right mindset and good planning.

Start today with a conversation with me, then we can together find out where there are shortcomings and how to proceed.
Easily order a free call at anneaxell.com/appointment

Cooperation.
What makes us able to trust a partner?

If you e.g. is an employer and wants to work with another, then you want him to be loyal. Who does not want a partner you can trust? How can you be sure of that? When you start working with the person in question, you must make sure that he or she gets something out of the collaboration. You will not find anyone who is loyal to you unless they themselves get something out of it. They must either make money so that they can support themselves and perhaps their family, or gain knowledge that can be used in the future so that they can achieve better careers, friendships or contacts.

You do not start by being loyal to someone who only uses one, but you must ensure that the person who is to be loyal strives for the same goals as yourself and wants to develop.
Horses are not different from us, yet they express themselves differently. If you are going to have a good collaboration with a horse, it must give it something. You can not just expect the horse to be loyal and love you if you do not give it something. It should be interesting, safe, rewarding if you want to make the horse want to achieve the same things as you. If you only meet your own needs and goals, there is a good chance that the horse does not want to be loyal to you.

Horses, like many other animals, are very forgiving and have indulgence, but can also speak out in a drastic way when it comes down to it.
How can we then achieve cooperation and loyalty with the horse?

It is first and foremost necessary that we get to know it. Know what his needs are, how can stimulate it. It is very important to be able to read the horse and know what it expresses, be patient and often take a step back and ask if this is reasonable to present to the horse.
If you want to know more and are curious about how you can best proceed, I offer a free call, where we can sort out your possible problem or how to proceed.
Book easily at anneaxell.com/appointment

Rest your brain!

This weekend I have had time off!

I have not had time off since Christmas where I was a few days in Sweden. I work a little every day and am available to my customers, because they need help. When I think that I have to take time off sometimes, then the brain thinks automatically, yes but it does not take that long to do this, it goes fast, then I can take time off.

I like my job so it does not feel burdensome and I plan my day myself, so I can take “time off” whenever I want. It’s just that the brain never takes time off.

When I take a break from the computer, it is almost always to do something physical so I move a little, but realize that when I vacuum or wash dishes, my thoughts go to work, plan, what to do next to get better, etc.

We think we can not control this, but it is wrong and just as a computer needs to be cleaned sometimes, so the brain needs to disconnect from the heavy decisions at regular intervals.

How can you then press the stop button?

One can e.g. do something that requires your attention, so you concentrate on something else, focus as you call it. You can also meditate or do something physically strenuous, but it requires that you make a decision about it.

Why am I writing about this, it has nothing to do with horses?

Well, the brain works the same way when we work with riding fear. We spend time with the horse and like what we do, but the brain works feverishly with, how to get on the horse, how to get rid of the fear, how to avoid infecting the horse with the fear, which makes us trigger the brain to think on exactly what we do not want.

It requires rest for the brain or other focus and it can actually be done with simple means. We become so engrossed in the “bad” behavior that we do not find ourselves out of it and it keeps the brain going constantly.What it takes to get out of it, is good planning, focus on the right things and that the brain gets a little free sometimes.

This requires a little help and if you want a free planning call, then just book here at anneaxell.com/appointment

The taste is like the buttocks, they say, but it depends on which horse the buttocks like to sit on. There are an infinite number of horse breeds to choose from and what is it that makes you like the exact breed that you do? It is good that we do not think alike, then only one horse would have been chosen. One thing is what you like to watch, another is what you enjoy spending time with every day, training, competing, cuddling with.

I myself have had a lot of breeds over the years and have managed to breed a horse that is both beautiful (in my eyes) and nice to both ride and ride. A lot also lies in how much time you spend on the horse, because of course it does a lot that you thrive together and that the horse is intended for what is closest to your heart.

There are as many ways to ride / drive as horse breeds and it is important to find the breed that suits what you want to do in the future. Each horse is bred for one thing and it is stupid to buy a Draft if you want to go out and jump 150 tracks.

However, you can certainly do other things with the horse than exactly what it is bred for, but they have their exterior and gait that one has to think about. All horses are beautiful in their own way and you can not say which breed is most beautiful, it is up to each person to think. A horse becomes even more beautiful in an owner’s eyes when you have got to know it, because the beauty is also inside. Sometimes you can choose a horse breed just because it is suitable for you, not because you think it is the most beautiful, but you are allowed to look at other horses even if you do not own it.

I hope you continue to keep alive all breeds, because everyone has their beauty and purpose and its fun to see and compare, so there is a suateble breed for every human being.

Which one is yours?

What lead rein do you have?

Lead rein is a fun thing. It can be used for almost anything, which also means that they, just like socks in the washing machine, can disappear completely and mysteriously. I do not know how many lead reines I have bought through the ages but I know that many lead rein sellers have earned a good penny on me. The lead reins can later appear, such as tying a gate, hanging the salt stone, buckets, etc., but then they are no longer usable as lead reins. Both trainees and myself have seen them as “good to have things” to help a little everywhere. The problem is when the favorit lead rein disappears.

It has probably taken many hours to locate where it has gone!

Now we come to the serios part of the post: What’s your favorite lead rein? Be honest with yourself. Is it the color, is it the length, is it the material or the carabiner that is flexible and good to use?

Unfortunately, with my start on the post I want to point out how easy it is for a lead rein to disappear and therefore you would not like to spend some big money on one. That’s stupid, I’ve experienced that many times. How much can not happen when you lead the horse in a bad lead rein? It needs to have a good length, so you can get away if the horse should rear or jump away. It needs to be good quality, not nylon, so you do not burn your fingers if the horse jumps to the side and the carabiner needs to work well, so you are able to open it quickly, without it being too loose so it goes up by itself.

So the lead rein is invaluable in handling the horse and everyday obstacles, so buy your best favorites in the future, even if some should disappear

Why is it not good to “pretend” not to be afraid?

When I was a child and young, and for example had fallen off or had something to do with the horse, you were only told that you would get up again immediately.

It’s true that focus helps one to be less afraid, but it does not help your brain and body to understand what happened. The trust between horse and human is not repaired and the event is stored in the brain as a failure.

The brain is a database and you may not feel it immediately, but the event may come up later in life along with a lot of other “failures”. This is when you start to avoid certain situations such as riding. It can come as a total stop or it can start with you sweeping the stable an extra time to fake that you do not have time to ride.

Anxiety can build on and all of a sudden you do not understand that you, who have been totally fearless before and ridden a lot of horses, do not dare to sit on the kind horse that is in the stable.

It is important then to build trust in oneself and one’s horse in that situation. It requires some time and a step-by-step program, where you slowly get back to the state you want to be in, that is, to be safe with your horse and that you trust each other.

This is where I can help both mentally and physically with a fantastic program that has helped so many. Contact me if you have a problem you want to discuss.The call is free and you can order it easily here: anneaxell.com/appointment

Do you think it’s scary to gallop?

Our brains are there to protect us and not do dangerous things. Sometimes we can “cheat” it when the tension draws more than the fear, this is what we call horror-mixed delight.

Some love the speed and some find it dangerous to gallop. It’s a lot about us wanting control. When it goes fast and the horse may like to run or resort to flight behavior, we lose control and especially if the horse is difficult to stop again.

Learning to ride right, becoming friends with the horse, trusting each other takes time. It is often a question of missing something along the way and not learning properly, not taking it step by step and not learning the right body language and above all it is a matter of trusting the horse.

But how should I trust the horse when it just runs and can not be stopped, you might think. Yes, then maybe you and the horse have not learned to work together, maybe you have been in a bit of a hurry.
In today’s world, everything has to go fast and we humans have a tendency to make too great demands, both on ourselves and also on the horses. Sometimes you have to go back to make it work and work on the relationship.

A good way to get to know the horse and also yourself, is to work the horse from the ground. Body control is also very important, if you do not show what you want, it is difficult for the horse to decide what to do.

Take things at your own pace, do not let others control you 🙂

How do you talk to your horse?
As a psychologist / therapist, you should preferably not say no or negative words when talking to a person who should have better self-confidence and desire to live.

How often do you say no to your horse?

Not only with your voice but also with your gestures and body language!

We are eager for the horse to understand us and do as we please, but are we willing to change ourselves in the process? To succeed with the horse is not only to adapt your language but also your thought and way of being.

The horse is your mirror and to see something nice and beautiful in the mirror, the person standing in front of the mirror must be able to show his open face and his good soul.

Start examining yourself today and listen to what signals you give the horse, when it does not want to listen to you.